I am in transistional period. I hate those. It's like sitting and waiting for the sun to rise when it's pure dark. Life is so difficult sometimes. Everyone tells you that life has a point and a plan, and if you wait something really wonderful will happen. I want my life to stop standing still, I want to move forward. It's like I am trying to walk, but my feet are stuck to the floor. God help me, please.
One of my best friends is moving away this week, but not too far away. Sometimes friends are the only thing that makes waiting bearable. A true friend will see Twilight with you again for the third time. They will be there for you when you call them crying into the phone. I love them for that.
I have been listening to alot of Joni Mitchell, lately. Both Sides Now has reflected my life's feelings this week. So I made it into a montage, which was very therapuetic.
Written on: Wednesday, December 3, 2008 Time: 11:27 AM
Comment! (2)
This has been the roughest semester. I am not happy with what I am doing. I need to be in a place that is more concentrated. No more religion, and no more beating myself over it. I have decided that I want to change programs. I think I want to be a music therapist. Music therapy is a form of counseling that uses music to help certain populations to respond more positively. It can be used with stroke victims, cancer patients, and children with developmental disorders. I can also use counseling within it. You create lesson plans, and performing arts can be integrated within it. I'm not quite sure everything about it, but helping people through music is what I would be passionate about it. I started to see that I have to do what I love because that should be what life is about. Too much time I have wasted doing what I think I should do. Music is what I love. Here is my latest montage.
Written on: Sunday, November 23, 2008 Time: 4:35 PM
I saw Twilight today. I have to say that I really liked this movie. I am a sucker for star crossed lovers scenerios. I think this is the first vampire movie that is targeted at a largely female audience. This movie focuses on the romance more than the necessary violence that usually accompanies this genre. The lead actors have amazing chemistry and that to me is what ultimately carries this film.
I think the heart of this movie is very relatable. As humans our primary desire is the search for happiness. Perfection is always out of our reach, and we have to adapt to the cards we are dealt. Desire and yearning is a common theme in most books and films. I think that this is a common struggle accross the generations.
The music in this film is really beautiful too. It might find its way in a montage sometime.
Have an awesome night. Stay warm as you wait in those movie lines.
Written on: Wednesday, November 19, 2008 Time: 2:48 PM
How can someone you've never met change your life? I don't really know, but that is what Ekaterina Gordeeva and Sergei Grinkov have done for me. I remember the first time I ever saw them skate. It was in 1995, my cousin and I watched this Disney special on television. It was Pocahontas. I would watch anything with ice skating in it, and right away I was enchanted by this couple. The way they looked at each other was so pure, and it was almost like they never stopped looking in each other's eyes. It was really beautiful. After it was over, we were still deep into our ice skating stage. The next day my cousin and I made these lists of favorite skaters, we both put the Pocahontas pair on the list. After a few weeks, we forgot about them and went on our ways.
I don't really rememember how much time went by, but one day I came home from somewhere. My parents were sitting on the couch watching some show. I noticed that it had some ice skaters on it, so I stayed to watch. The announcer stated that Sergei Grinkov had died. The television flashed some skating footage across the screen. It was weird, but my mind went back to that skating pair. That was our skating pair, that young beautiful couple was gone. He was dead.
A few months later, the skating community had a memorial for Sergei. I watched it, but at the time but I wished I hadn't. It was just too sad at the time. This young girl who is younger than I am now saying goodbye to her greatest love. She skated with her entire self. There is nothing more I can say than that.
At one point, she leaned down and kissed the ice like she kissing him. When she was done, she was crying hard. It showed her daughter whom she picked up and the little girl patted her on the back. For the next few months, that image stayed with me.
In 1996, my grandfather died. It was draining on everyone. It was like watching this big strong man turn into this weak shell. He was the most important person in my life, and even now I cannot tell you how I'm different. But I can tell you, whoever I was before that happened she is forever gone.
At 13, I don't think I fully understood or could deal with that level of pain. I went home, and I was still in deep depression. I think at the time, though it was easier for people that I didn't express that. Or maybe I didn't even fully understand how. One day, I went to the book store I saw a copy of My Sergei. I bought it immediately, and read it in one day. It was like this very private diary. Parts of it, I wondered if I should know this kind of information about people I've never met. Katia talked about her grief very honestly. It wasn't the same kind of relationship, but I felt very connected to the pain. There was something deeply therapuetic about this book. I felt like this book had finally given me a place to grieve. I know that sounds weird, but it was true.
Everytime I felt sad, I could go back to it. I started healing, and I read it now for just the romance. I hardly read it now, but it's there if I ever need it. My friend bought me a hardback copy, because that old paperback was falling apart. I have seen every G&G interview/ performance. I followed Katia in her singles career, and even watched as she fell in love again. I have met so many fellow G&G fans, and a few that I count as close friends.
My mother sometimes doesn't understand the continued fascination with someone who has been gone so long, but I almost don't know myself. All I know is that they helped me believe in the sanctity of life, and in way they helped me through the worst periods of life I've ever had. So tomorrow it will be thirteen years since Sergei died, and sometimes it seems like it just happend and other times it seems like a hundred years. How have people I've never met changed my life? I still don't know but that's exactly what they did.
Latest Montage
Written on: Monday, November 17, 2008 Time: 4:37 PM
Today is my mom's birthday. My dad got her a chocolate covered rose cake, it was awesome! She is 51. Happy birthday, Mom! For the latest montage I used the theme song for Free Willy. It makes me wanna watch the movie but I'll resist the urge. I love dolphins and whales, a fact anyone can quickly understand by viewing my bedroom decor. That is why I was so exicited when I learned that Social Vibe is trying to help protect them through petitions and the foundations. Hayden Panettiere is trying to stop the slaughter of millions of dolphins and whales. If you want to help, you can join SocialVibe.Com and sign the petition or make it your primary charity. Kudos to Kathyrn for signinng it! Have a great week, everybody!
Friday, Bees, and Twilight
Written on: Friday, November 14, 2008 Time: 3:30 PM
I am so glad it's Friday. This week is finally over, and all the papers are for better or worse over. Thanksgiving break will be here soon, and then Christmas will be here too. It will be so much fun to chill out for a while. Maybe I'll finally get to catch a movie this week. I realized yesterday that the last movie I saw was "Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2. " I really wanna see "The Secret Life of Bees". It has been a really long time since I've seen Dakota Fanning in anything. She's definately one of my favorites. Although she's making feel so old, I remember her debut in "I Am Sam." That movie is so beautiful. I think I have been bitten by the Twilight bug. At first, I didn't understand what the big fuss was about. I mean it seemed a little like Buffy/Angel. Then, I saw the trailor and I have to admit, those peircing eyes got to me. I mean I think I'll love this movie, and I haven't even seen it yet. I don't even like that genre usually. I am working on a new montage for G&G. I think I'm going to use my favorite Shania Twain song. Hopefully, I'll finish it soon. I just saw Shania on the CMA's, and it was great. I hope that means she's releasing new material soon. Well, to anybody out who might be reading this. Have a great weekend!
Popping the blog spot cherry!
Written on: Wednesday, November 12, 2008 Time: 3:44 PM
If you don't know already, my name is Theresa. I am 26 year-old grad student in psychology. I'm in desperate need of Christmas break! It has been a rough semester. If you ever see me posting videos like crazy, you know I'm really stressed out! Well, it's crunch time and I definately feel like iI'm the one getting crunched. During holiday break, I will be a new woman. The sun will be shining even if it's pitch black outside. Everything will seem perfect to me and this semester will be a distant memory. That is the ideal. I hope to make this blog a sanctuary for my thoughts. That I can share with all of you. Mostly, I'll blog about pop culture or what I think is interesting. I love figure skating, especially Gordeeva and Grinkov. Dance is another passion of mine. I like television shows like General Hospital and One Tree Hill. So I might blog about those type of things. Or I might share a cause close to my heart with all of you out there in cyberspace! Anyway, whatever it is welcome to my little corner of the world.
Waiting is the Hardest Part
Written on: Sunday, December 14, 2008 Time: 4:31 PM
I am in transistional period. I hate those. It's like sitting and waiting for the sun to rise when it's pure dark. Life is so difficult sometimes. Everyone tells you that life has a point and a plan, and if you wait something really wonderful will happen. I want my life to stop standing still, I want to move forward. It's like I am trying to walk, but my feet are stuck to the floor. God help me, please.
One of my best friends is moving away this week, but not too far away. Sometimes friends are the only thing that makes waiting bearable. A true friend will see Twilight with you again for the third time. They will be there for you when you call them crying into the phone. I love them for that.
I have been listening to alot of Joni Mitchell, lately. Both Sides Now has reflected my life's feelings this week. So I made it into a montage, which was very therapuetic.
Written on: Wednesday, December 3, 2008 Time: 11:27 AM
Comment! (2)
This has been the roughest semester. I am not happy with what I am doing. I need to be in a place that is more concentrated. No more religion, and no more beating myself over it. I have decided that I want to change programs. I think I want to be a music therapist. Music therapy is a form of counseling that uses music to help certain populations to respond more positively. It can be used with stroke victims, cancer patients, and children with developmental disorders. I can also use counseling within it. You create lesson plans, and performing arts can be integrated within it. I'm not quite sure everything about it, but helping people through music is what I would be passionate about it. I started to see that I have to do what I love because that should be what life is about. Too much time I have wasted doing what I think I should do. Music is what I love. Here is my latest montage.
Written on: Sunday, November 23, 2008 Time: 4:35 PM
I saw Twilight today. I have to say that I really liked this movie. I am a sucker for star crossed lovers scenerios. I think this is the first vampire movie that is targeted at a largely female audience. This movie focuses on the romance more than the necessary violence that usually accompanies this genre. The lead actors have amazing chemistry and that to me is what ultimately carries this film.
I think the heart of this movie is very relatable. As humans our primary desire is the search for happiness. Perfection is always out of our reach, and we have to adapt to the cards we are dealt. Desire and yearning is a common theme in most books and films. I think that this is a common struggle accross the generations.
The music in this film is really beautiful too. It might find its way in a montage sometime.
Have an awesome night. Stay warm as you wait in those movie lines.
Written on: Wednesday, November 19, 2008 Time: 2:48 PM
How can someone you've never met change your life? I don't really know, but that is what Ekaterina Gordeeva and Sergei Grinkov have done for me. I remember the first time I ever saw them skate. It was in 1995, my cousin and I watched this Disney special on television. It was Pocahontas. I would watch anything with ice skating in it, and right away I was enchanted by this couple. The way they looked at each other was so pure, and it was almost like they never stopped looking in each other's eyes. It was really beautiful. After it was over, we were still deep into our ice skating stage. The next day my cousin and I made these lists of favorite skaters, we both put the Pocahontas pair on the list. After a few weeks, we forgot about them and went on our ways.
I don't really rememember how much time went by, but one day I came home from somewhere. My parents were sitting on the couch watching some show. I noticed that it had some ice skaters on it, so I stayed to watch. The announcer stated that Sergei Grinkov had died. The television flashed some skating footage across the screen. It was weird, but my mind went back to that skating pair. That was our skating pair, that young beautiful couple was gone. He was dead.
A few months later, the skating community had a memorial for Sergei. I watched it, but at the time but I wished I hadn't. It was just too sad at the time. This young girl who is younger than I am now saying goodbye to her greatest love. She skated with her entire self. There is nothing more I can say than that.
At one point, she leaned down and kissed the ice like she kissing him. When she was done, she was crying hard. It showed her daughter whom she picked up and the little girl patted her on the back. For the next few months, that image stayed with me.
In 1996, my grandfather died. It was draining on everyone. It was like watching this big strong man turn into this weak shell. He was the most important person in my life, and even now I cannot tell you how I'm different. But I can tell you, whoever I was before that happened she is forever gone.
At 13, I don't think I fully understood or could deal with that level of pain. I went home, and I was still in deep depression. I think at the time, though it was easier for people that I didn't express that. Or maybe I didn't even fully understand how. One day, I went to the book store I saw a copy of My Sergei. I bought it immediately, and read it in one day. It was like this very private diary. Parts of it, I wondered if I should know this kind of information about people I've never met. Katia talked about her grief very honestly. It wasn't the same kind of relationship, but I felt very connected to the pain. There was something deeply therapuetic about this book. I felt like this book had finally given me a place to grieve. I know that sounds weird, but it was true.
Everytime I felt sad, I could go back to it. I started healing, and I read it now for just the romance. I hardly read it now, but it's there if I ever need it. My friend bought me a hardback copy, because that old paperback was falling apart. I have seen every G&G interview/ performance. I followed Katia in her singles career, and even watched as she fell in love again. I have met so many fellow G&G fans, and a few that I count as close friends.
My mother sometimes doesn't understand the continued fascination with someone who has been gone so long, but I almost don't know myself. All I know is that they helped me believe in the sanctity of life, and in way they helped me through the worst periods of life I've ever had. So tomorrow it will be thirteen years since Sergei died, and sometimes it seems like it just happend and other times it seems like a hundred years. How have people I've never met changed my life? I still don't know but that's exactly what they did.
Latest Montage
Written on: Monday, November 17, 2008 Time: 4:37 PM
Today is my mom's birthday. My dad got her a chocolate covered rose cake, it was awesome! She is 51. Happy birthday, Mom! For the latest montage I used the theme song for Free Willy. It makes me wanna watch the movie but I'll resist the urge. I love dolphins and whales, a fact anyone can quickly understand by viewing my bedroom decor. That is why I was so exicited when I learned that Social Vibe is trying to help protect them through petitions and the foundations. Hayden Panettiere is trying to stop the slaughter of millions of dolphins and whales. If you want to help, you can join SocialVibe.Com and sign the petition or make it your primary charity. Kudos to Kathyrn for signinng it! Have a great week, everybody!
Friday, Bees, and Twilight
Written on: Friday, November 14, 2008 Time: 3:30 PM
I am so glad it's Friday. This week is finally over, and all the papers are for better or worse over. Thanksgiving break will be here soon, and then Christmas will be here too. It will be so much fun to chill out for a while. Maybe I'll finally get to catch a movie this week. I realized yesterday that the last movie I saw was "Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2. " I really wanna see "The Secret Life of Bees". It has been a really long time since I've seen Dakota Fanning in anything. She's definately one of my favorites. Although she's making feel so old, I remember her debut in "I Am Sam." That movie is so beautiful. I think I have been bitten by the Twilight bug. At first, I didn't understand what the big fuss was about. I mean it seemed a little like Buffy/Angel. Then, I saw the trailor and I have to admit, those peircing eyes got to me. I mean I think I'll love this movie, and I haven't even seen it yet. I don't even like that genre usually. I am working on a new montage for G&G. I think I'm going to use my favorite Shania Twain song. Hopefully, I'll finish it soon. I just saw Shania on the CMA's, and it was great. I hope that means she's releasing new material soon. Well, to anybody out who might be reading this. Have a great weekend!
Popping the blog spot cherry!
Written on: Wednesday, November 12, 2008 Time: 3:44 PM
If you don't know already, my name is Theresa. I am 26 year-old grad student in psychology. I'm in desperate need of Christmas break! It has been a rough semester. If you ever see me posting videos like crazy, you know I'm really stressed out! Well, it's crunch time and I definately feel like iI'm the one getting crunched. During holiday break, I will be a new woman. The sun will be shining even if it's pitch black outside. Everything will seem perfect to me and this semester will be a distant memory. That is the ideal. I hope to make this blog a sanctuary for my thoughts. That I can share with all of you. Mostly, I'll blog about pop culture or what I think is interesting. I love figure skating, especially Gordeeva and Grinkov. Dance is another passion of mine. I like television shows like General Hospital and One Tree Hill. So I might blog about those type of things. Or I might share a cause close to my heart with all of you out there in cyberspace! Anyway, whatever it is welcome to my little corner of the world.
About
Theresa? Who am I? Really, you want to know? Be careful what you wish for. I am a girl who at the root of everything loves music. Music is a celebration of life. It pulsates through every emotion in life. Performing arts is an expression of music, which I also love. Ekaterina Gordeeva and Sergei Grinkov continue to allow me to appreciate their art by making montages of them. This is a great creative outlet for me.
I am an observer of the world, and I hope that I leave my mark on it someday. I have cerebral palsy. This changes the way I look at people, and helps me to look inside myself and others more intently. Lastly, I am someone who looks for love in the world. If you look closely you can see reflections of it everywhere. This blog will be a small window inside my life, and the things that I love. Thank you for visiting, and remember, show your world some love!
Mom at the Gardens
